Fruit Blog - MANGOS

It's summer school at Fruit Blog as our sweaty denizens lay on the books in a last ditch cram before final exams. Their tome of choice, the superstar of tropical fruits, the sensuous mango. Known as the testicle of God, eating a the mango is like tea bagging a tree and that's why it's this narrator's favourite fruit. Highlights in this episode include a demonstration on the proper way to eat the damned thing by Mr. Dinn and a reappearance by Madame Frantowski's jeggings. They practically steal the show once again with the most selfish tugging and pulling sequence since Sally Rand's sister Ayn did burlesque.

Fruit Blog - POMEGRANATES 1

One of the most sensual fruits in the world the pomegranate is definitely for lovers although you wouldn't know it by the brutish behaviour of our friends in this installment of Fruit Blog. Let's just say, the cracks are starting to show. For the first time this season Scott leaves the room, on the arm of the mysterious blonde Amazon Christa. And how do our visibly fraying hostages respond to this brief bit of air? By a brazen move to take over the show led by Darryl 'Eve' Dinn. Caught up in the spirit of rebellion and perched arrogantly in the cat seat he is tripped up by his inability to understand the great God Wiki so he calls the gentle Bellini in to the rescue. However the two of them are undone by their vaunting ambition and unfamiliarity with the mysterious cultivar and Fruit Blog is left dangling once again by a fibrous thread.

Fruit Blog - GREEN PEPPERS 2

In Part Two of our Green Pepper saga, Scott is forced to confront the fallout from his intemperate outburst towards Darryl.  Clinging to fruit facts like a dying man he attempts to hold on to his flagging sanity but is unsuccessful and plunges headlong into a blubbery meltdown. Inessa comes to the rescue but her follicular therapy is to no avail. The tears must have their day.  Finally the rebel Darryl is brought back into the fold and the two fruit flies make up.  But don't think our mad leader has gone soft because mixed amongst the heartfelt sentiment is a message of tough love that is sorely needed in these squishy times. Until next time, Fruitaloo!

Fruit Blog - GREEN PEPPERS 1

Controversy erupts on the Fruit Blog set as Scott and Robin tussle over the scientific classification of the green pepper. Luch mysteriously utters the word 'monocot' and then descends into bitterness .Darryl summons his courage to try to warn the world of the madness growing inside but things take an ugly turn when a 'refreshed' Scott emerges from the washroom with Inessa on his arm and murder in his eyes. This one's a doozy Fruit Flies. Fasten your seat belts. It's the law.

Fruit Blog-Plums

The sexual tension in the room starts to boil over when the humble little plum is revealed to be a juicy stand in for the vagina. The resemblance is so profound that the mysterious Gary is lured from his post in the back to address the controversy. Later Scott doles out some serious information and Paul gets down and dirty. A lot can happen in a minute. You can be hit by a cocoanut and die. Make some reconstituted orange juice that's gone bad and die. Or watch Plums and not die. It's up to you.

Pineapples 2

The information comes at you fast and furious as the fruit flies dig up pineapple facts true and false. Luciano proves himself to be a fount of knowledge about the seedless sweetie and Robin confesses his confusion about the difference between legumes and tubers. Gary gets ready for his closeup, Inessa stays low key after her high intensity workout in Pineapples 1 and Darryl shows the camera his back. Although perhaps not as provocative as PIneapples 1, this installment is perfect for teachers and educators looking to ignite a classroom discussion about the world's most popular bromeliad.

Fruit Blog - Pineapples 1

A truly glorious pineapple, perhaps the first perfect fruit of the entire odyssey, sends our hotel castaways into gastronomic ecstasy. Scott gives us some dirty pit while Inessa rocks out her jeggings. There's even a little hairy boob from Bellini. The temperature is definitely heating up Fruit Flies. Soon it will all be explained.